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5 Year Anniversary

October 7, 2017

How Keith n’ Jess got started:

A snippet of a conversation I documented, March 2011~

“I was just going to talk to you today about how I can’t do this ‘taking it slow’ thing anymore. I want you to be mine.” -K
“I’m not scared anymore. And I’m okay with having you forever. Are you ready?” -J
“Yeah I’m ready.”
“Sure?”
“I’ve made my decision.”
“Then let’s do it.”

In September of 2017 we celebrated 5 years of commitment to each other.

I am so thankful for us, and I love the life we have built together.

To be honest, I feel insecure about my life *only* when I think about how it must seem from the outside looking in. I do not think I have an enviable life when up against society’s measuring stick. Keith and I, we are poor. We live in a very old apartment in which our children share a bedroom and we do not spend money on any vacations or personal luxuries. Everything we own is either cheap or handed down. We also both struggle with 2 opposite mental disorders which can cause conflict between us. We are often over-worked, overwhelmed by outside life circumstances, sleep deprived, and exhausted (which we’ve learned to call adulthood). Despite all of that- or maybe even because it eliminates the pressure of living up to anyone’s expectations- I can’t help but feel consistently, sincerely, and deeply grateful for what I have and the life I live with Keith.

I feel so thankful. I’m thankful that I still feel very much in love with him. …I keep waiting for that feeling to fade! But now I’m beginning to wonder if it ever will. Maybe I lucked out. Haha, don’t get me wrong! There have been times I’ve been so mad, and so annoyed, and so disappointed and he’s felt the same towards me. But then he holds my hand for 30 seconds or we pause for a minute to say ‘sorry’ or we just make fun of ourselves and laugh it out, and all the sudden my heart is full again and I can’t get enough of him.

I appreciate using him as a sounding board to sort through confusing emotions. I enjoy cuddling, watching him love our children, receiving chocolates, and the many wonderful surprise homemade meals he cooks up.

I love you, Keith! I’m happy to have launched Year Six with you. Here’s to another year of adventure (Lord, have mercy!) and holding on tight to one another while we weather the storm.

Categories: Ciao Bella Vita : Daily Journal