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Somewhere over the Rainbow

March 2, 2015
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I just wanted to write a little something about Abby in here, and our experience this weekend…

Abby was my cousin Jack’s little niece. I watched as he and Katie cared for her and helped raise her as a daughter since she was born. I have memories of her as a baby drinking a bottle on a blanket laid over grass at The Naz, her huge, gentle brown eyes peering over and taking in the world… memories of her playing so patiently with my son and her little sister Lillie; her sweet, kind, and gentle disposition… memories of a huge toothless grin, endearingly dirty bare feet from running around outside, and wind-tossed brown hair…

Abby playing with Adry

Abby playing with little Adry at my parents’ house

abby adry 2

My stomach hasn’t stopped churning since I read a message from Jack on Saturday night February 21st that he’d lost Abby… that she was on life support without brain activity after a sudden brain aneurism.
And then on Sunday when they took her off life support and took her organs for donation she was officially gone.

She was 12 years old.

That’s just not supposed to happen.

No one is supposed to lose a child.

I told Jack that I couldn’t even begin to understand what he was going through, and he said I could have a rough idea.
To be honest, it’s hard to even try to have a rough idea. When I begin to consider the ‘what ifs’ I have to stop because I just can’t! I cannot fathom his pain.

We went to her calling hours and memorial service this past weekend.
Such a small coffin.
They had placed with her body a My Little Pony blanket, a bff bracelet from a schoolmate, some cute little stuffed animals, and a gadget from Doctor Who…
I watched as my cousin, his wife, Abby’s mom and Lillie mourned the loss of their babygirl and big sister.
My heart was in the pit of my stomach the entire time… At some points I couldn’t help but think, ‘is this real life right now!?’

During the service a couple of musicians played the Brother Iz version of ‘Somewhere over the Rainbow’. It’s a song I sing to Adry at night. It’s a song that already felt sentimental in context on Iz’s death, but in context of a cute, sweet child’s death it’s heart-wrenching.

(Link:¬†Iz’s Over The Rainbow¬†video, putting his ashes in the sea)

I’m not one to typically consider the afterlife or heaven. I don’t practice Christianity in fear of it or in hope of it. I have no idea what it will be, or what it will be like.
But if I’m to live in a place where God calls children home to him, I at least hope to hear their laughter ringing as I enter heaven’s gates. That would be a beautiful sound.
I hope Abby is somewhere over the rainbow where her troubles have melted like lemon drops, and the dreams she dared to dream have come true. I picture her one day running to reunite with Jack and Katie with a big hug and an even bigger smile.

As Jack said:
“Until then…”

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