School Conference Time!November 8, 2015
It’s that time of year again! When you sit down across from another adult and bite your nails from nerves because they’ve known your kid for 2 months, now, and they’re about to tell you all about him.
But I don’t know why I get nervous because each time I walk away with a smile on my face, and this time was no exception.
I learned some very interesting things about my big kid this year. I think I know him, but he’s so full of surprises. No surprises academically of course– he’s on par with Grandview school district performance, which is already above and beyond Ohio 2nd grade Academic goals… so I’m totally content and thankful for where we’re sitting there. Then Keith asked about his character growth and development, and about who Adry was as a person in the classroom.
His teacher said he is go-with-the-flow and flexible. He likes to socialize. He is kind-hearted and kids like to be paired with him for partner projects because they know he will get his work done. He does not like to be reproached, and when he is- for things like writing notes to his friends or talking when he is supposed to be on task- he writes apology notes to his teacher, which is a thing that is neither expected nor encouraged.
I thanked his teacher and told her I was not expecting to hear some of what she said because he’s different at home. At home, expectation means the world to him, and when things are not as he expects them to be it causes him a lot of stress… (And the apology letter thing just took me by complete surprise!) She said it seems typical that kids who are good at school go home and let loose once they’re with people they know will love them anyway at the end of the day…
which was a complete echo of what the therapist said before Adry even started school… he said Adry’s behavior was classic of a kid letting it all out after working so hard to hold it in… because I’m his safe zone… because he knows I’ll tuck him in at night and tell him I love him. No matter what.
You know what. It’s challenging to be that person on that end of things… It’s challenging when Adry “lets it all out” to me and I listen to a spiel of all the things he’s mad about. It’s challenging when he bangs and he stomps and he fumes. And it’s about all my heart can take when he spends twice that amount of time wallowing in regret and beating himself up about it and telling me he wishes I had a better son than him, and he wishes Ella had a better brother than him… But if I am the one that gets to stop what I am doing to sit down in the hallway, pull him into my lap and hold him tightly as I cry with him and tell him about how passionately and unconditionally I love him, then I am honored. And I pray I will always keep that perspective.
I love that boy so much my heart breaks with it, and I am so proud of him.