A New Year A New AgeJanuary 20, 2018
2018, 33 years old, is bringing with it a lot of new changes.
My father, having previously left his job at FVD and subsequently sold his house, is now a few weeks into the start of his new job aaaand is also currently (literally as I type this) moving from Suzanne’s house to my apartment. I’m not 100 percent certain about the nature of his relationship with Suzanne at this time, but I do know that at some point there was a break up of sorts which I was pretty unhappy about. I told Suzanne that she is always welcome in our family, that I’d already accepted her as part of the family and so as far as that was concerned it wasn’t based on Dad’s choices anymore. (As a side note I am completely happy to live with Dad! The more the merrier!)
But seriously, fuck break ups. I’ve lost a ton of people I’ve loved dearly due to break ups, and I’m done saying goodbye. Seriously, totally done. I regret every break up ‘goodbye’ there has ever been in my life, and in my idealistic little heart of mine we would all get over ourselves and realize we are tiny stupid little humans on this big planet hurdling through space within this huge beautiful galaxy in this vast amazing universe. I’d love to be friends with Ben again and watch scary movies while we eat popcorn — It’d be really cool if Ella could know more about that part of her brother’s life. I’d like for Stephan to pop by and make Sponge Bob or Family Guy references. Shoot, I even emailed the infamous Faith several years ago and extended an olive branch which she accepted graciously. I hate burnt bridges in my life, and I don’t plan on having any more on my end. People can hate me for that- they can get mad at me and walk away from me. That’s really sad, but it’s also not something I can control because as for me and my family, we will welcome any one at any time with grace and forgiveness. Total grace. And total forgiveness. Because if there’s anything I’ve learned lately it’s that we are all messed right the fuck up and trying to hold it together the best we know how. (Some of us are convinced we have it all together. Some of us are delusional.) We all make a lot of mistakes and cause a lot of hurt along the way. There’s brokenness and pain in this life, and I’ve been pulled in way too many directions to even know how to choose sides anymore.
…So there’s that. Anyway, where was I? Oh, Keith is also a couple of months into his new job with OSU!
I’m 33 now, with new lines on my face… and no one in my household wears diapers. Not even me yet, haha. Behold! A new phase of life! If anyone asks me for potty training advice I tell them they’re asking the wrong mom because I’m going two for two, successfully didn’t potty train either of my kids, lol. They each decided they were ready to be big kids and that was that.
Ella wanted to do New Year’s Eve selfies. She chose the faces we were to make in each one:
Categories: Ciao Bella Vita : Daily Journal