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“Mutual Submission”

August 31, 2013
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Rachel Held Evans did a week-long series on her blog on ‘mutual submission’, addressing the NT verses allegedly commanding wives to submit to husbands, children to their parents, slaves to masters, etc.

The supposed ‘patriarchal household code’ interpretation of those passages never fully made sense to me. After all, though Paul instructs wives to submit to husbands, he immediately turns around and instructs husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. And how did Christ love? He taught that anyone who wants to be first should be last and that whoever wants to be great must be a servant. And Jesus demonstrated this type of love himself. So it always seemed to me that the NT taught that husbands and wives should mutually submit and serve one another.

And that’s basically what this guest writer on Rachel’s blog talks about in her post: Aristotle vs. Jesus: What Makes the New Testament Household Codes Different. She considers the “household code” passages in light of culture, context, and author intent and comes to the conclusion that the established Greco-Roman code gets remixed when Jesus is in the picture, and no one is actually “in charge”.

Before we were married, Keith and I had several discussions about what our own household code would look like. I happen to appreciate feeling taken care of, and I don’t see myself ever being the career-driven, bread-winning type of woman. I told Keithy I’d be completely content relinquishing that responsibility to him so that the home and children could be my domain… But Keithy said he preferred to have more of a “partnership” wherein there is no one head-of-household; we just work together for a common goal. Seeing as how I happen to be really great at setting goals, organizing our life, and making decisions, I seem to have willingly and comfortably taken on the role of Keith’s ambition behind all of his dreams. He has the big picture dream in his head of what he wants to do and where he wants to go, and I seem to be making all the navigation decisions to get him there. When we disagree about something along the way, we lay it all out on the table and come to an agreement. It really is a relationship of mutual submission.

Growing up, there was never a clearly defined hierarchy in our household, either. I mean, the brothers and I were expected to obey our parents, of course, but we weren’t raised to unquestioningly obey authority. We were taught that respect is earned. My parents had reasons for and willingly explained everything they did and expected us to do. If I disagreed with my parents, I felt free to voice my opinion and act on it. That doesn’t mean I wasn’t disciplined. I was. (I also blatantly disregarded discipline if I felt I had good reason. There were a handful of groundings that I accepted and followed through with! haha!) I had friends whose parents had thought they had a firm grip on them, and thought their children were adhering to all their rules and thou-shall-nots, but if only they knew what their sneaky kids were doing behind their backs and all the lies they were being told! lol. My parents talk about how I’ve been blatantly defiant since I was a toddler and Dad told me to pick up my crayons. I told him no. He ordered me again to pick up my crayons so I looked him in the eye and slowly poured more of them out. I’m sure it’s stressful raising strong-willed children but I will say this about my brothers and I: We are each authentic and honest. We don’t sneak, cheat, lie, or bullshit. What you see is what you get. My brothers turned out to be such unique, inquisitive, independent thinkers. I am so proud of them on a daily basis! My point of this whole seemingly off topic rant about my family is just that I’m thankful we weren’t raised to be Yes Men! I’m thankful I didn’t have to be a quiet unquestioningly submissive child, nor do I have to be a quiet submissive wife. I’m free to be open and honest, and to voice my opinions and make decisions in humility, love, and respect.

I’m thankful Jesus taught humility and sacrifice and has blurred the lines of culturally accepted social orders!

“Sitting down, Jesus called the Twelve and said, ‘Anyone who wants to be first must be the very last, and the servant of all.’ He took a little child whom he placed among them. Taking the child in his arms, he said to them, ‘Whoever welcomes one of these little children in my name welcomes me; and whoever welcomes me does not welcome me but the one who sent me.'”

Categories: Ciao Bella Vita : Daily Journal

Looking forward to celebrating ONE YEAR together…

July 13, 2013
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PHOTO CREDIT: Engagement photos by my dad, Mr. Tim Sanders. 2012
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I know it’s early, but I’ve been so excited to celebrate me and Keith’s One Year Anniversary.
We have our cake topper in the freezer, and time and money set aside for a few nights’ local getaway and hopefully hot-tubbing, cocktailing, and rooftop pool swimming at the Renaissance here in Columbus.

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I’m not going to lie, Keithy and I are awesome together. I somehow was fortunate enough to find the one-in-a-million who fits me perfectly. Our flaws and strengths come together like puzzle pieces to make a complete picture; I fill in the spaces he’s missing and vice-versa. I wrote in our couple’s journal back in May: “I think one reason Keith and I make such a great partnership is that I’m detail-oriented (and need help focusing on the big picture) and Keithy is big-picture oriented and has trouble with all the details along the way. We compliment each other very well that way. Even with the little things. The other day Keith put together his resume and wrote it so articulately… words just flow from him so freely while I struggle to describe simple things. He let me edit his draft and I tweaked it up– condensed it, sharpened it up, corrected the alignment and a few tense-changes and things like that… We are kind of like that in our marriage, and I think we work beautifully that way.”

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I am so proud of us. Not because we are perfect, but because we’ve had a lot to overcome. We still have plenty to work on, but we’ve come a long way since we met each other. I’m so glad and forever thankful for our resiliency. We’ve learned so much about each other and how we work best together, and we continue to learn. I think that’s one of the keys to a happy joyful marriage: openness and willingness to learn and adapt. Also, 100% HONESTY, absolute TRASPARENCY, and approachable and understanding dispositions… which can all be summed up in one word: communication.

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I LOVE:
-that we can be dorky and silly with each other. We break out in random dances, have gibberish discussions in grocery store aisles, and flirt endlessly
-how easily we laugh together
-getting daily love letters and reminders of how much I’m cared for
-how we support each other, encourage each other, and cheer each other on
-seeing Keith thrive at and enjoy all of his artistic endeavors and hobbies (his novel-writing, song-writing, singing, tattoo-designing, and cooking)
-the theology, philosophy, and science discussions we have– that we can have intelligent and stimulating conversations
-BEING in love. the best feeling
-the security and comfort of being a family forever. all three of us. and knowing I have two awesome boys at home to love, and who love me in return

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I am excited to celebrate US. Our marriage, our love, our family. I love you, Husband Bravo!

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Categories: Ciao Bella Vita : Daily Journal

Husband Bravo Chef Extraordinaire (Surprise Date Night)

July 6, 2013
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I’d been dealing with a pretty heavy depression for a few days. The kind that no matter where you go you can’t escape that gray, gloomy raincloud hovering over your head… the air is so thick and your chest is so heavy that it’s hard to breath. The no-good-reason, 100% chemical-imbalance depression. It’s the worst kind of depression because it tricks you into believing that it will never end and there’s no hope in sight. It feels like every single thing in your life, good or bad, is twisted and ugly and sad and pathetically hopeless.

You’d think that with all of of our scientific discoveries and medical research that someone could have come up with a quick cure for that, you know? Something so much better than hit-or-miss, numbing SSRI pills that take a month to kick in at the possible risk of increased suicidal feelings and anxiety. (They suck.) Like Soma pills from Huxley’s Brave New World! I’d take a holiday!

Alas, I don’t have Soma, but I DO have a Keithy! He knew I was having a hard time.

I came home Friday evening from work expecting to have to get a bunch of house chores done and blah blah blah the work never ends  and instead saw this on the door:

 

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I went inside and there Keithy was in a chef’s apron donning a big fake mustache, talking in an accent welcoming me to ‘Keithstro 77’ in broken english, haha!

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He pulled my chair out for me and had me take a seat.

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He had me choose three items from the menu.

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Once I decided, he brought out his homemade hommus for me to munch on while he “made” the meal. It was delicious!

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After we ate I got to choose from like 10 girly/dramatic movies that he had chosen from the library.

Anyway, it was a perfect evening because he was hilarious and made me laugh, and I felt so very loved and taken care of.

I have such an amazing husband. Even the most intense depression cannot infiltrate a joyful marriage. Thank you, Keithy Martin, for the joy you bring me.

Categories: Ciao Bella Vita : Daily Journal

And I present to you….

March 9, 2013
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Keith Martin in 2010 (the year he met me):

This post is a LONG time in coming. it’s been stewing inside my head for quite some time now and it only gained a body when i was in the shower earlier this week (because that’s where i do most of my thinking) and today at work. (the other place i do my thinking.)
I would also like to preference this post with a warning. (it’s in all caps so you can’t miss it.)
THIS IS A SHOTGUN OPINION AND HAS NO BEARING ON ANYONE PERSONALLY. IF YOU FEEL OFFENDED IT’S PROBABLY BECAUSE IT’S TRUE, AND YOU SHOULD LOOK A LITTLE CLOSER AT YOURSELF. IF YOU AREN’T OFFENDED, THEN GOOD. I’M GLAD YOU AREN’T LIKE HOW I FEEL.
Falling in love with a girl is like falling in love with the end of the world.
Now i appreciate this phrase because not only is it nifty in the way it rhymes, but also because it’s true.
Not in the romantic sense that you get in a boat to float to the edge of the planet, or in a plane to chase the horizon; though both could work.
(i.e. the boat will sink and you will drown and the plane will crash and you will die a horrible death, by multiple blunt traumas and then burning.)
I mean in the pile of ash that used to be a planet, with charred bodies of children in the streets and enough rads in the air to give the residents of Chernobyl the hiccups.
That kind of the end of the world.
See, here’s what i’ve learned. Women are all lips and hips and beautiful eyes. they lull you into a sense of peace and satisfaction with the relationship.
And then they rip your heart out.
And then they laugh while you lie there bleeding out, your ribs jutting at the sky like the blackened studs of the house that burned down two weeks ago.
And they feel as much guilt as a mannequin does embarrasment when it’s getting it’s clothes changed.
Because that’s just the way women are. They use men for their own means and don’t really care about it.
Life has taught me to fear and hate women. i don’t trust them and i’m not really inclined to.
They are flowers made from razor blades.
Someone asked me the other day, ‘But keith, don’t you want to get married and have kids?’
I politely told them that it’s a nice idea and maybe some day in the future it could happen.
I then went upstairs and projectile vomited so hard that i wept uncontrollably.
Just the thought of being shackled to a manipulative harpy is enough to send shivers down my spine and make black lines swim across my vision.
Personal observations have led me to believe that women’s motives are mere shams. they are motives of motives and behind them are even more motives, all in order to manipulate men into providing whatever they want instead of just asking for it.
And at the end of it, i’m not even sure they know what they want.
If you want your dad’s approval, then go ask him. a man in a relationship can’t do that, or give you the love of a father.
if dad doesn’t listen, i would suggest you try stripping. that always gets dads riled up.
And that just segues perfectly into the whole relationship aspect of it.
Relationships are hell. Boiled down, Dating is anywhere from a week (If you are smart) to whenever of up and down and circles of arguing and posturing and outwitting and one-upping the other person.
//*sentance censored out for easier and friendlier public consumption*\\
If i wanted grief in my life, i’d make all my clothes out of nails and knives.
And then, after all that; they either decided to get married (!) or to break things off. (?)
Now at this point you’ve probably had the thought that;
“well, he’s just griping because he’s not in a relationship, and can’t find anyone to date. Don’t worry buddy, God made someone extra special out there for you and they will match you like a puzzle piece.”
or something along those dithering lines of thought.
And that incredibly vague, false-hope instilling comment used to stump me so incredibly badly.
Well, i have an answer for you.
Because of all the marriages going on that i’ve seen that are going well, i will agree with you. Yeah, God in all his benevolence did make someone to be “Mrs. Right” (read: with an astronomical amount of sarcasm)
And she was aborted. That’s my answer.
Thanks a lot, Mother-in-not. Your “Inconvienence” is the person that i will love and cherish for never.
OR
Women have created a drug that makes men docile and happy and even more easily manipulated. And no one wants to give it to me. (which is depressing, but if you want to read about that, go and check out some of my previous posts.)
Those are the only two possible reasons why i can think of anyone to even want to enter a relationship.
And that segues into my next train of thought.
Once you are done with the relationship; what then?
Some people just move on. Some people go directly into another relationship. (read: most women. evidently, ‘love’ is a drug and it’s addicting. well, i got off THAT particular train a while ago and am a better man for it. (read my “love is not real” post.))
Or do you try again and again and again to get into a relationship and then realize the futility of the whole thing because of a epiphany and say //*Censored for your enjoyment*\\ to the whole thing?
does anyone see the point to any of this?
because i sure don’t.
The only thing i can see is that we make more people from the relationship, so that they can go through the whole thing.
This isn’t really leading where i thought i would, and i’m kinda off my train of thought. (because the only ending i see of this is me telling you that we should stop procreating and just let the world die off, and i’m saving that for my next blog.)
So to get back on my anti-woman rant…
Thanks for breathing my air. go away, because my life is better without you.
It’s a lot simpler, and i can plan things. i don’t have to worry about people “liking” each other, or me, or me them, and can just be myself.
The end.

I found this the other day in Husband Bravo’s old e-mails and I just can’t stop giggling. Especially when comparing it to our couple’s journal where he expresses his passionate and undying love for me, and his desire to to anything to make me happy. Seeing as how my mother did not abort me, I obviously have a kick-A ‘Happy Husband’ drug. And if there are any man-hating women out there, I’d be happy to supply you with some! Works.like.a.charm. Just slip him some and he’ll do things for you like bike for an hour in the snow and suffer wind burn on his face to retrieve the phone you forgot to bring home. All in the name of manipulationloooove.

(naw srsly, I was at home puking; I promise I don’t manipulate him.)

Keithy, we’ve been married for SIX months this month! I’m glad you decided to re-think things. I’m glad you married me. You are a phenomenal partner and lover, and I feel fortunate to have you by my side every day. I adore and love you!

Categories: Ciao Bella Vita : Daily Journal

Mom & Dad Surprise 50th Birthday and 30th Wedding Anniversary Bash- Part 2 of 2

November 20, 2012
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…When everyone finished eating Matt played the video that he put together for Mom and Dad.

I had helped him by going through their photo albums and digging up old pictures. I scanned them, emailed them, and left the rest to Matt. I love what he did with it! Unfortunately, I do not have access to the final edited and revised version of the video at this time. Fortunately, I DO have one of the ALMOST final versions of the video that I can share with you now. Matt just made a few more tweaks to this version (You might not even notice them when I show you the final one):

Hi! I’m a LINK! CLICK here ON ME to watch the VIDEO!

URL of video: https://www.dropbox.com/s/m0fzb5moievy3ge/Anniversery.m4v.mp4

While watching the video:
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Song at the end of the video: Johnny Cash ‘In My Life’ LYRICS:

There are places I’ll remember
All my life
Though some have changed
Some forever
Not for better
Some have gone and some remain
All these places have their moments
With lovers and friends
I still can recall
Some are dead and some are living
In my life
I’ve loved them all
But if all these friends and lovers
There is no one
Compares with you
And these memories
Lose their meaning
When I think of love
As something new
Though I know I’ll never lose affection
For people and things that went before
I know I’ll often stop and think about them
In my life
I love you more
Though I know I’ll never lose affection
For people and things that went before
I know I’ll often stop and think about them
In my life
I love you more
In my life
I love you more

Before I move on to the group photos I’d like to mention how proud I am of my parents.

Both of them.

Their life together has not been easy. I could write 10 novels on the hardships they’ve endured as a couple and as individuals. They’ve worked HARD. All on their own. I absolutely could not be more thankful for the PERFECT childhood and growing up experience they provided for me and my brothers. As a mother of only one young boy, I cannot wrap my mind around the work, time, energy, commitment and sacrifices my parents made to raise three children the way they did– My dad used up his hard earned vacation time from work to work even HARDER taking his kids to camp out at music festivals. He used his evenings creating stage sets and scripts so that the church children could put on plays for the congregation. He carved pumpkins through cramping hands, sawed down Christmas trees in the dead of winter, coached soccer on his weekends, and so much more. He was our spiritual leader; our go-to guy when we had questions. He challenged us to open our minds and think critically. (And boy, we do! All three of us willful Sanders kids, haha!) My mother made her career her children. She visited our classrooms, made meals for teachers, took us to every school, home school, and extra-curricular activity, and nursed us when we were sick. She was our encourager, nurturer, and defender. (She was MamaBear. We knew who had our backs. We still do.) My parents raised three kids who are best friends for life, and that just an extremely precious and rare gift. I am eternally grateful for them, their teamwork in raising their family, and their marriage.

Now for group pictures!

Before toooo many people left Mom requested we all gather for one big happy photo.

A few of the ones I liked:

(To not-so-tech-savvy people: You can click on the photos to go to my photobucket account where you can view them BIGGER.)
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And a few more fun photos from the end of the night:

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Adry had SO much fun running around and playing with all of the children that were there, and he cried and cried when they all went home and he was the last little boy left. (He is far more fearless and social than I am. I don’t know where he came from!)

Anyway, I’m glad my brothers and I had the chance to celebrate my parents that night. They are awesome. Happy 30th Anniversary to them, December 31st! 🙂

Categories: Ciao Bella Vita : Daily Journal

Marrying Keith 6- cake cutting, keith’s brother, and happily ever after

October 13, 2012
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Last installment of ‘Marrying Keith’!

Later in the night, after our fist dance, it was time to cut the cake!

Of course, since cutting the cake is a seriously important event lyke omigawd I had to have a very serious discussion with Keith beforehand… which made him laugh at me.
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And I was all no no no no, you don’t understand. That whole vow thing? That was just a formality. You could have had your fingers crossed. We suspect certain ex-husbands had THEIRS crossed. You have to repeat all your vows (it is permissible to paraphrase), then PINKY PROMISE ME and then seal it with the cake cutting! So he put on his serious face.

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He repeated his vows and pinky-promised on it.

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SIDE STORY: And this is going to sound all mopey but it’s totally not- I’ve just accepted the fact that insecurity is going to be a part of my relationship with Keith. I will always wonder if or when he might leave me, stop loving me, get sick of me, blahblah. I mean, it’s not just that I’ve personally experienced adultery and divorce; it’s that I’ve also seen it happen over and over and over again, same story every time. I feel like my generation has just become really good at justifying ending a relationship that has gone sour… and letting relationships go sour in the first place. I’m not sure how long I have to be married to be convinced I won’t be left, because I’ve seen 3-year marriages collapse, 10-year marriages, 17-year marriages… you know? I get afraid that I’ll be 39, going through a rough time, raising 2 Martin kids and Keith will say, “I haven’t been happy for a long time- I think we’d be happier if we weren’t married anymore.” I am NOT saying that it is within Keith’s character in the slightest to do or say something like that, but the terrifying thing is that I didn’t think it was in the other men at all to do that to their wives, either! Each affair, separation, and divorce I’ve seen has been a complete shock to me.

I know it’s not fair that Keith has to live in the wake of my past experiences when he’s done nothing but be consistent, committed, and work hard to make sure I’m happy. But he always assures me that he entered into the relationship with his eyes open- he knew what I’d been through and the struggles I have. He’s incredibly patient. All I have to do is tell him when I’m feeling insecure and afraid and he reminds me of how much he loves me, WHY he loves me, how happy he is, and how, even if one day he might happen to feel unhappy, he will never leave me. It makes me feel better to discuss actions we will take to secure a healthy marriage and ALSO the actions we will take if things go bad.

SO ANYWAY! Nowadays (post-wedding) when I have bouts of insecurity he reminds me that he PINKY PROMISED! And it has become a little joke.
So after the super serious pinky promise Melissa came over to help us cut the cake. This is Melissa:
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She is also the one who worked hard to make our very lovely cake.

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(loving on me)

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Friends Photos!
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To kind of wrap up the night the crowd gathered around the bonfire and Keith’s brother gave a really great heartfelt “best man speech” that Keith talked about for days.
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(SO many girls find out that Keith is awesome and ask me if he has a brother. The answer is yes. Keith has a brother. Here he is! No, you can’t have him. He’s married.)

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It has taken me three weeks to get all of these wedding posts up! Also- I’ve been married for three weeks already! Each day is happier than the day before.

I love my husband so so SO much. forever.

Categories: Ciao Bella Vita : Daily Journal

Marrying Keith 5- blue ginger and first dance

October 6, 2012
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After family photos we met at Blue Ginger for dinner.

Blue Ginger is an Asian bistro in Dublin and is the restaurant Keith and I went to celebrate our engagement. We thought it was yummy, so why not celebrate our being married there, too!

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I love him!

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Jamie and John

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Keithy got some sushi. I got duck dumplings, the same thing I got on engagement day.
I also tried to eat sushi for the first time in my life, but that story doesn’t end well.

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After Blue Ginger we headed to my parents’ house for our Fire Night Party (AKA reception).

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Melissa Foley (wife of one of Keith’s bandmates) made our cake!

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My mother (and dad) organized, decorated, set up, and put together the entire Fire Night Party. She did an amazing awesome job and I wish I had more photos of everything she did! (I just didn’t think to grab my camera and/or tell the girl who did our pictures what I wanted. =my one and only big wedding regret.) My mom had the yard all in pretty sparkly lights, she had beautiful autumn-like table cloths and centerpieces on the tables, she prepared make-your-own kabob tables with different meats and vegetables and people cooked their kabobs on the grill. Dad prepared sangria and filled his fishing boat with sodas, beers, etc. T.Matt put together my music mix and Ryan let us use his DJ equipment so the party had music! Dad set up a tent with foosball and the skittles game he made by hand, and also made a big bonfire and fire snacks (smores). Everything was super classy, sparkly, pretty, and yummy! My mother is right in her element when it comes to events. She doesn’t do anything halfway.

Keith and I had sort of been doing our own separate mingling as soon as we walked through the door of my parents’ house. So an hour or two into Fire Night I’d had a few +spiked sangrias to keep warm (and it totally worked) and I also had REFUSED to take off my super long heeled shoes because I loved them. I packed sneakers just in case, but… the shoes! They buckled at the ankle and had an adorable bow across the toes and… they just weren’t coming off, even though no one could see them and the heels were super thin so I kept getting stuck in the grass as I walked through the yard… Aanyway. It was about this time that Keith and I crossed paths on the patio as a song started and we took each other and started dancing.

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Now, Keith and I never had “a song”. We tried to have a song, but I always told him that the best couple songs were from shared experiences, not picking and choosing. By Wedding Day the closest I’d come to having a song that reminded me of Keith was Jack Johnson’s Better Together because Keith always seemed to sing it to me on late nights when we first started dating. But KEITH said the song that reminded him of ME was Red Hot Chili Peppers Hard To Concentrate… and so we just never pinned down a couple song. So anyway, on Wedding Day when this song played and we started dancing it took me a minute to piece together what it was because I’m really bad with intros… and also: sangria.

Then Keithy started singing it to me. The first song we danced to. The first song he sang to me. And it turns out it was Jason Mraz I’m Yours.

Sidenote: it’s funny that that song ended up being the song because it’s always been one that’s been kind of unofficially off limits for me because it belonged to my old high school friend/ fellow online journaler who is a SUPER SUPER CRAZY-FOR-JASON-MRAZ FAN (who ALSO happened to date the same high school boy as me, happened to get pregnant a little before me, left baby daddy a little before I left mine, fell in love and got engaged a little before me, got a job very similar to the one I got, HAPPENED to get married on the exact same day as me, who I think ALSO danced to that Jason Mraz song with her son on that day!!!) so I’m slightly concerned (but not really) that she will think I am stealing her life! Ha! But I promise- the parallels are a complete coincidence (and a little weird). Also, she’s not catty, so I don’t think this will be an issue. It’s just kind of funny to me.

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When Keith and I were first falling in love he’d say, “I love you so much I have that ache behind my sternum.” That’s how I felt dancing with him. That’s how I feel about him every day. (I am so fortunate.)

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I completely adore him.

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The next post is my LAST wedding post!!! It will be of cake cutting, Keith’s brother, the rest of fire night, and happily ever after.

Categories: Ciao Bella Vita : Daily Journal

Marrying Keith 3- ceremony part II

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We hadn’t even gotten to the vows yet when it started raining.

Everyone got their umbrellas out and I stood under the arch shivering until I finally said, “I’m going inside!” I mean, Hello. I just spent hours on my hair and makeup. Priorities.

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Adry started exclaiming, “There won’t be a marriage! It rained! There won’t be a marriage!” But the rain didn’t stop me from enjoying my day (maybe even more than before). And it certainly didn’t stop us from getting married.

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Everyone gathered in the Martin living room chatting and joking around, and I was happy with it. Everything was relaxed and intimate. I was ready for vows.

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We put our rings on our fingers (which we had not been cheating and wearing for the past couple of months).

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And Keithy kissed his bride.

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And then dipped his bride and continued kissing. (Photographer couldn’t see the dip from her angle.)

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Then we were pronounced husband and wife!

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‘Welcome to the Family’ Hugs from Parents

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My dad

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My mom

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Keith’s mom

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Keith’s dad

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Adry celebrated his new stepdad.

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And then not 5 minutes into married life I told Stepdad to fix his new son’s pants because he hiked them up too far and made them highwaters.
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The sun came out again and we headed outside for family photos.
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Next Post: Family Photos

Categories: Ciao Bella Vita : Daily Journal

Marrying Keith 2- ceremony part I

October 4, 2012
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(Photo Credit: Missey Flaugher)

Okay, so I was all dressed and ready!

(Pause. Side story time.) I was in the dress that Keith ultimately picked out. I had chosen a dress months before while out shopping with Jamie and my mom, but it was nothing like the vintage 1930’s dress I originally wanted. Then at my personal shower two weeks prior to the wedding Jamie said, “I was at Flower Child and saw the exact dress you wanted!” So I HAD to go to Flower Child to see and I took Keith along with me. Of course we couldn’t find the dress Jamie had spotted, but I tried on a handful of vintage dresses for Keith anyway. None of them were striking my fancy, but Keithy told me he really liked that little 60’s dress. I was all meh, the lace on the shoulders and chest bugs me, but THEN I found the most adorable pair of shoes that went with the dress perfectly! I told Keith I’d be happy with the dress as long as we found ribbon to tie around the waist into a bow. During subsequent trips to hobby shops and Macy’s Keith helped me find ribbon for the waist, a shawl, and a headband. He even vetoed the hair pieces I picked out in favor of that headband. Something about the fact that my wedding day outfit was entirely put together by my hot nerd manly-man zero-fashion-sense husband makes me smile. I’m okay with trading the ‘first seeing her walk down the aisle’ moment with the half hour he spent with me in front of a mirror in the Macy’s accessories department tying shawls around my shoulders and making me giggle.  

Anyway! I was dressed and ready and I realized that Oh crap I was late and everyone was seated and waiting outside which meant I had to make an entrance. I had tried my best to avoid the ceremonial aisle-esque bride entrance and had hoped for a casual mingling and okay guys, time for vows type of a deal. As an antibride, I had no interest in being in a bride spotlight and all of the sudden things felt all formal and so I begged Jessie and Jamie to walk out with me… or at least walk out before me playing “White Wedding” on their phones and doing crazy 80s dances. (Which was Jamie’s vision for my wedding, and it would have made for a great distraction.) So I made it to the threshold (and alas, no one had youtubed White Wedding) and saw my handsome husband-to-be and his dad waiting on the patio.

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Keith’s dad is the Adult Ministries pastor at Grace Church of Powell. When Keith asked me to marry him I didn’t care about weddings or receptions or flowers or any of that stuff so when we were deciding how to go about getting married I just had one desire and priority: that we be married by his dad. 1) because he is awesome, 2) because Keith’s parents mean the world to him, and 3) because that’s just an incredibly special moment that I wouldn’t trade for anything… to be married by my dad-in-law while watching my husband hang on to every one of his words with such respect and admiration.

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(Keith and his parents laughing about something before I got outside)

So I walked outside to join Keith and his dad under the arch. I was feeling sort of spotlight anxious and things were kind of a blur until I heard my brother Matt to my right say, “Hey, Sis.” That was cool because it reminded me who I was surrounded by and why they were there.

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(I liked this picture of me during prayer with my dad praying in the background.)

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(After the ceremony Keith’s dad told him that there’ve been few times in his life that he’s had Keith’s absolute attention and that was one of them.)

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(Adry during the ceremony. Hah)

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I had Keith’s wedding band on my thumb.

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(Adry with Uncle Jacob watching Keith become his stepdad)

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We hadn’t even gotten to the vows yet when it started raining. Ceremony Part II will be my next post!

Categories: Ciao Bella Vita : Daily Journal